From: Julian Edwards
Sent: Thursday, January 2, 2003
Subject: Goodbye Australia!
Hi everyone!
Tonight is our last night in Australia before we go to New Zealand tomorrow. Before I kill myself bungy jumping, I thought I'd better write a few words about the last 2 months since I emailed you last. In particular, I've come to the conclusion that Australia is a very strange place indeed which makes it even more imperative to visit here if you've not been before. In honour of the fact, I've drawn up my top ten list of weird things about Australia:
- The other day I was in a petrol station paying for my fuel when I noticed what looked like a can of plain old WD40. But this is Australia, so it's called "Start Ya Bastard!"
- Australia has the weirdest wildlife on earth. Kangaroos - creatures that hop on both legs at the same time and will still outrun you. Pelicans, with beaks bigger than the rest of their body. And the only two mammals in the world that lay eggs. (That's the platypus and echidna to the uneducated)
- Even the women have mullet haircuts.
- The bottle shops (off licences / liquor stores) have drive throughs. Can anyone else see the irony?!
- We found a place in Tasmania called the Pub in the Paddock, and it has a pig that drinks beer. It guzzles a bottle in 1 second flat and apparently its record for the day was over 200!
- Daytime radio has no censorship. What the f***!
- We saw someone's old front loader washing machine on a post at the end of their driveway. It was being used as a postbox!
- Australia has "big things". This is difficult to explain unless you've seen them, but imagine giant lobsters, prawns, sheep, bananas, oranges and even a giant model of Ayers Rock (and anything else they can think of) stuck on the top of buildings, petrol stations and shops.
- Australia has 9 out of the top 10 most poisonous creatures on earth.
- There is no number 10.
Well, since the last email we've done quite a lot of driving. We drove from Adelaide to Alice Springs and it took us two days of solid driving (and I know my American friends think that's peanuts but to us Brits it's a long way!). That's two days of driving through absolutely *nothing* that is known as the Outback. The only places are the odd roadhouse overy 200km or so where you can camp and get fuel. We drove at times for an hour without seeing other cars. It's remote! But it was a fantastic experience we won't forget, along with the breathtaking sunsets and sunrises at Ayers Rock.
After we got back to Adelaide (yay, another two days driving through nothing!) we managed to get tickets to the second Ashes test (that's England vs Australia cricket for the Americans!) and it was another great experience. We sat with the Barmy Army and learnt all their songs. I know you'll be appalled Gordon :)
Since then we've driven all the way back to Sydney, via the Australian skiing area (yes, they do have a small mountain here to my surprise) and the New South Wales south coast, which was all spectacular. We played some golf on a lovely course set along a cliff top! I thought only losing two balls into the sea was a result... :-)
The last few days have been incredible. We had christmas day on Bondi beach in the sun. We both got sunburnt of course but eating turkey sandwiches and playing frisbee on the 25th December is an unforgettable experience. There was also a large group of Scots near us on the beach who decided to remove their kilts and streak to the water and back! By the afternoon when everyone on the beach was well and truly drunk, a giant conga formed behind a policeman patrolling down the beach. What a day!
Of course, the highlight of Sydney this time of year is the new year celebrations. We went well prepared and had an all day picnic near the opera house and were rewarded with an incredible view of the fireworks on the harbour bridge at midnight.
Right that's it from Oz - I hope you all had a great Christmas and I wish you a very happy new year.
J.
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Julian Edwards
On tour, somewhere in the world, getting bitten by mosquitoes
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